Divorced and dating. In your 30s, you’re looking for a partner. In your 40s, you’re looking for mind-blowing, legs-in-the-air sex. You know, the kind of sex that was non-existent in your marriage. Or maybe we’re just talking about me? Fess’ up honey.
For me, sex with men over 40 can be disappointing. Viagra states that half of men over 40 have some sort of erectile dysfunction. Shit, that blows. I mean women carry babies for nine months and push a ten-pound head out of a peephole. On top of obsessing about our weight and watching hair-plugged men drop their pants for twenty-somethings – is a little erection (and maybe a nice size penis) too much to ask?
Through my experience and talking to other women, who have slept with men over 40, there is this big-game talk with men. They pump us up, get under the sheets and then deflate their tire making excuses – “such an exhausting day,” “I have a big day tomorrow.” Listen fuckers, we created the headache.
Now I find myself saying in heated anxiety, “Dear Universe, Please let this penis be a normal size and hard.” I even omitted the request for sex lasting more than 3 minutes. These are desperate times, folks.
I do have a point here. We get chastised for dating younger men. Now people, you know why.